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Their judgement tends to be more reliable.' Sophie and Simon have now been married seven years and have just had their first child, Maggie Mae. 'I truly believe that because we were friends first our relationship has always functioned on a much deeper level, which is actually quite rare among couples.It's difficult for me to define why it switched focus that day of the wedding, but, looking back, I think Simon was starting to get under my skin.I'd go on dates with other men and find myself thinking about him, and once I joked that we should get together.I suppose I was testing the water to judge his reaction.He'd even sit with her in the pub and have a couple of warm-up drinks while she waited for a new date to arrive. 'On that day of the wedding, when everyone around me was saying how lovely he was, I suddenly thought they were right.She described him to other friends as 'not very exciting'. It was like an epiphany.' Most psychologists would say that was unusual.
Richard Layard, a leading economist, writes in Happiness, Lessons From a New Science, 'As social beings, we want to trust each other.
Also, as you move into middle age, you start to consider the question, "Do I want to get old with you?
" If you have a trusting friendship, the answer will more likely be yes.' It was a breach of trust that made Natasha Miller, now 39, completely revaluate her approach to commitment.
The reality is that when friends become lovers the shift in their emotions is usually gradual.
In fact, it's so subtle they don't even notice it's happening until the moment a kindly hug becomes loaded with intention.